


Reach in Deep and Pull Me Out

by NancyNerd



Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: BDSM, Come Marking, Consensual Non-Consent, Degradation, Dom Dark Creativity | Remus "The Duke" Sanders, Dubious Consent, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Hand Jobs, Humiliation, Hurt/Comfort, Imaginary people doing the harm in the first chapter, M/M, Morality | Patton Sanders Needs a Hug, Patton uses the imagination to self-harm, Praise Kink, Punishment, Remus patches up Patton with first aid and care, Remus taking care of Patton, Riding Crops, Rough Oral Sex, Self-Harm, Self-Hatred, Spanking, Sub Morality | Patton Sanders, Violence, it's pretty dark in the first half but when Remus arrives he makes it better
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-16
Updated: 2021-02-16
Packaged: 2021-03-19 00:28:29
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 2
Words: 6,677
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29498847
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NancyNerd/pseuds/NancyNerd
Summary: Patton has been feeling guilty and low after the events of SvSR - but he can only do so much to make things right with the others that will require time, space and patience.Until then he wants to be punished; to make it hurt to feel like he's doing something rather than nothing.And with Remus away from his side of the imagination, Patton can sneak in with out anyone knowing what he wants done to himself.
Relationships: Dark Creativity | Remus "The Duke" Sanders/Morality | Patton Sanders
Comments: 3
Kudos: 54





	1. I walk alone into the dark but unaware you would follow too

After everything that had happened between the call back and the wedding - as well as the overall effect it had on Thomas’s mental health - Patton had not been feeling his best.

It didn’t help that his relationship with everyone was currently feeling very strained.

Logan and Roman were both avoiding him, while Virgil had been angry with him over finding out that Patton had sided with Janus instead of Roman. He was on better terms with Janus now, but with how new his acceptance was, Patton didn’t feel like he could just turn to Janus like he could have done with his FamILY... at least, before everything that had happened.

Remus was possibly one of the few who wasn’t directly angry at Patton right now, but it wasn’t something that the moral side was willing to find out. Right now he was trying to get into Remus’s room to sneak into his side of the imagination.

Patton waited, peeking behind from a corner down the corridor, as he watched the Duke leave his room to spend time with Roman. After at least a minute when he could be sure that his route was clear - Patton took his chance to go, speeding straight to Remus's bedroom, swiftly opening and entering before someone could catch him doing so - closing the door quietly behind him.

Even though he had never been in Remus’s room before, Patton couldn't help but think that the room looked so similar to Roman’s with the exception of it being somewhat darker and messier... and with plenty of things for Patton to ignore as he looked for the door on the other side of the room.

 _‘If I’m right and this room is anything like Roman’s...’_ Patton carefully walked over to the door; almost certain that it lead into Remus's part of the imagination.

Patton remembered the few times Roman had invited him along; from adventures to visiting the puppies that he had sometimes summoned for Patton to play with (if he wasn’t so sure that Roman didn’t want to talk to him right now, Patton would have liked to ask to see them again just for the small comfort. But he didn’t want to intrude on Roman’s space...)  
So he figured that it would work the same way as it did when he entered Roman’s imagination. 

The Moral side stalled for a moment, knowing that he probably shouldn’t be going in there alone - especially for what he had in mind.

But Patton let go of the breath he was holding in and opened the door with eyes closed, as he stepped forward with focus on the scenario he was imagining playing through his head. 

The door quietly closed behind him as his foots steps went from walking into an echoing room, to what eventually sounded like walking on concrete as Patton opened his eyes to see a dark empty city before him. He shivered and almost reached for his cat hoodie, until Patton remembered that he had left it in his room ‘just in case.' Patton continued to walk on, ignoring the cold night air around him. He could imagine it to be less colder, but didn't feel that he didn’t deserve it to be warmer - that what was about to happen could maybe... maybe...

Suddenly another set of foot steps echoed behind him. Patton didn’t stop and just continued to walk at the same pace as before, despite feeling his heart beating faster in his chest from the sudden spike of fear of whoever was now following him.   
Turning a corner, Patton could see a few turns between buildings up ahead that looked like they could lead into some dark alley ways. Considering how there were no people around barring his current stalkers, he could imagine that no one would be able to hear him screaming if anything were about to happen.

Just as soon as he thought it, Patton felt a strong sturdy hand shot out and grab his arm - shoving him down the alley way he was about to pass; tripping and falling face down onto the damp hard ground. Before he could turn to look at his assailant, Patton felt himself being lifted off the ground and shoved face-first right up against the brick wall - where he was pinned and unable to see his attacker. 

“Well well - what shall we do with this guy huh?”

The voice wasn’t anyone Patton recognized, but was one he had imagined for the faceless man and his friend who were both very close behind him. He tensed up, curling up his fists against the brick work but not doing anything to struggle or fight back.

“I think we ought to play with him a little, right before we REALLY make up our minds.”

Without another word, Patton felt himself being thrown violently back down on the ground - only to feel the first punch land on his face, knocking his glasses off onto the side, before the pair of imagined men started beating him up in a series of forceful kicks and punches. Patton could only curl up and shield himself against the attacks, but not doing anything to voice up a plea to stop them as he allowed them to continue.

_‘I deserve this. I deserve this. I deserve this and worse-’_

Once the latter half of that thought crossed his mind, the two strangers ceased their beatings - only pausing long enough for Patton to uncurl himself from the fetal position, before a hand shot out and roughly pulled Patton up by the hairs on the back of his head to sit upright as a blurry shadowy face leered down at him.

“He must really like this. You haven’t resisted or even tried to get away from us - guess you were really asking for it huh?”

Patton gasped as he felt another kick to his back, noticing the taste of blood in his mouth and the various numb spots all over his body that would soon begin to hurt once the adrenaline wore off. Even with his hair still being gripped so tightly, he felt a foot press down on the center of his back that made him lean forward and feel like strands of hair were going to be ripped out from his head.

“Maybe he wants to be out little friend?” the other voice sneered as his heel really began to dig into Patton’s back, “Is that right you little freak? You liked to get your ass beaten for fun pal?”

_‘I deserve so much worse.’_

Patton didn’t say anything but yelled when he was pulled up onto his feet, pain shooting through him as he felt himself nearly lose his balance - only to be caught by his attacker, who had now released his hair but gripped onto his waist firmly and securely. 

  
“Maybe that’s not all he likes.”

Patton suddenly felt the man kiss him with a bruising force as he weakly pushed against him in a feeble attempt to escape as the other man laughed at his actions. Once the one holding onto Patton pulled away, he felt himself being forced onto his knees - facing a bulging crotch inches away from his face as all breath left Patton’s body in shock. 

“Lets put this bitch’s mouth to use.”

Patton saw the zip being undone and had started to scramble away, but was halted by the man behind him shoving him back into place; feeling his own clothed arousal rubbing at the back of Patton’s head.

“Open up.”

When Patton refused to do anything, he felt a hard slap before being barked at to open his mouth again - which he instantly obeyed as his mouth opened and his eyes tearing up as the large cock rubbed against his exposed tongue.

“Bite me and I’ll knock all your teeth out - got it?”

With tears threatening to fall from his eyes, Patton nodded as the cock pushed further into his mouth while trying to resist gagging as he kept his mouth open as wide as he could. The pace began slow as Patton still choked on the dick in his mouth before eventually figuring out how to breath around it as the pace built up. Hands gripped onto the sides of Patton’s head as the trusting became rougher without a care into Patton’s mouth as the imagined man's friend gave a running dirty commentary on how Patton was taking it ‘like he was made for it’ and how they were going to do more to him, which seem to spur the other man on as he used Patton’s mouth. 

Patton could only take it, unwilling to stop anything as a floaty feeling began to take over him with the feeling that he was finally doing something right; that he was only good for this and nothing else, that what he wanted didn’t matter - only being a thing to fuck made something feel ‘right’ to him in such a messed up way. 

It didn’t last before the man fucking his mouth suddenly came, shoving Patton right up close to his crotch while he desperately tried to drink in the seed filling up his mouth. When the cock was finally pulled away - Patton hunched over and coughed up a glob of cum and spit from his mouth right onto the floor before him. He was unable to stop the coughing and heaving for air in a sudden rush of panic. It got worse as a kick landed on the side of his ribs, landing Patton right into everything he spat up while curling up again in pain as the men stood over him. 

“What an ungrateful shit, spitting good cum all over the floor like a messy little bitch!”

“Maybe his ass will appreciate it a lot more - we could maybe fuck some manners into this slut.” 

Being picked up and thrown over a nearby trash can like a rag doll, Patton started sobbing hysterically as hands grabbed his waist and reached over to unbuckle his belt. 

_‘I- I deserve...’_

“Hey!”

A third voice had bellowed down the alley way - which Patton hadn’t registered until he felt the man behind him let go of his waist, looking up to see a blurry figure standing with moonlight shining behind them. It wasn’t until a flying object was thrown at one man’s head while the other had burst quickly into flames and out of existence, that Patton realized who it was coming closer to him and saying words that weren’t sinking in to him.

“Morality? Hey, Daddy Pat-man? What the fuck is going on here?”

Patton couldn’t find the words. He couldn’t feel anything but the hurt and shaking panic that was trembling through his body; as he stayed completely still over the trash can where he had been thrown onto. It wasn’t until he felt a hand on his shoulder that he burst into tears, sliding down onto the floor and hunching in on himself with a very confused Remus standing beside him. 

Patton couldn’t say how much time had passed or what was being said to him if Remus was even saying anything to him at that moment - but some small part of him sensed that his surroundings had changed and that he was being picked up to be moved.

When the hard impact didn’t come from being thrown down or thrown against something; Patton started looking around and realized that the room he was in was dimly-lit, noticing that he was sitting on something soft like a bed with a hand on his knee. He slowly realized that Remus was there trying to calm him while speaking almost uncharacteristically softer than usual. The Moral side couldn’t see anything clearly without his glasses, but his breathing started to even out as he carried on his breathing exercises while taking in what he could see and feel around him. 

Once he was feeling calmer, Patton nearly jolted up at the feel of light metal being placed in his hands with Remus mumbling ‘here.’ Quick to realize they were glasses, Patton put them on - allowing him to see clearly and noticed the soft black blanket that was placed over his shoulders at some point; tugging them a little closer to feel the cosy material around him.

“Thank you.”

“Yeah... no problem. You feeling better now Patters?”

Patton could see that they were in Remus’s room, with the door to his side of the imagination firmly closed as the Duke was kneeling right in front of him - a comforting hand still on his knee that a corner of Patton’s mind felt he didn’t deserve - not after everything he just did; and certainly not after all his repression had put Remus through in the past.

“I think so...” even though they both knew he was lying. 

Patton could feel aches and pains all over his body. He felt dirty from what happened to him ( _‘What I made happen to me’_ he vehemently thought to himself), and he felt guilty for not only breaking into Remus’s room without permission - but for abusing the imagination the way he did for reasons he wasn’t sure he could explain to anyone let alone Remus. He could only look down at his own hands, still holding onto the blanket around him as he avoided looking at Remus in the eye. 

“Bullshit.”

  
Patton flinched as Remus stood up, but heard a quiet huff after a brief pause, before Remus sat down closer next to Patton - making sure to leave enough space between them so that he didn’t spook Patton again. 

“You know... of all people, I’m not going to judge you for why you created that fantasy.”

“I know.” Patton felt miserable, trying to decide if he could even remotely fake his way out by any means necessary. However, he knew that lying to himself - pretending to be happy and repressing his emotions were part of the many things that had lead him to inadvertently hurt everyone he cared about, as well as hurting Janus and Remus too one way or another. 

Tears were building up again, but Patton knew that he needed to tell the truth no matter what.

“I... I wanted to be punished.”

He didn’t need to look at Remus to see him staring at Patton in confusion. As he tried to shift his legs to sit in a more comfortable position, Patton gasped with a groan in pain of the bruises that were definitely littered all over his body. This caused Remus to promptly get up again, remembering his injuries.

“Shit, I really need to patch you up.”

“It’s fine,” Patton tried but made an unsuccessful attempt to get up from the bed as Remus stood in front of him again with a conjured up first aid kit in his hands, “I can just go recover in my room - I’ll be alright.”

“No offense Morality - but these are not the kind of injuries you can sleep off. Sure you could do that in the mindscape - but if you got hurt in the imagination, you’ll need mine or Roman’s help to get better.”

“I... I don’t deserve any help.”

“Dude... don’t say that.” 

Patton didn’t have anything to that, but when Remus’s hand reached out to gently tilt his head up to let their eyes meet - Patton’s breath got caught in his throat at the gentle touch.

“Let me help. I promise I won’t turn your fingers into toes or anything ‘fun’ like that.”

Any other time that imagery would have grossed Patton out; but instead he sighed with a soft ‘ok’, feeling a strange calm come over him as Remus started checking him over - tending to the various cuts and bruises littered all over Patton. 

In no time at all, Patton had his shirt removed while Remus had a unnervingly focused look on his face as he concentrated Patton’s wounds. Covering the Moral side in antiseptic ointments and plasters (the latter, Patton couldn’t help but notice, had cute Hello Kitty prints on them that nearly made Patton smile, but still thinking that it was one more thing he shouldn’t be allowed to have). Patton sat and cooperated with Remus without saying anything, while feeling himself beginning to go in and out of a daze; from a combination of tiredness and awareness on how carefully the Duke was handling him.   
Once his upper body had been dealt with, Remus paused before moving to his trousers. 

“Were you hurt anywhere else?”

“I think my knees might have been bruised from, well, falling on them earlier.” 

Patton didn’t want to say that it felt a lot worse than that, but once he gave permission for Remus to remove his trousers - leaving him in only his underwear - they could both see how dark the bruises on his knees were alongside all the other scraps and bruises on his legs. Remus cursed under his breath, summoning two cold bags of ice for his knees - making Patton shiver from the cold. Looking up, Remus then summoned what looked like a black hoodie to hand over to Patton.

“Here.”

“Oh- Remus, you didn’t have to-”

“Well I did, so it no problem. Alright?”

Remus went back to treating Patton, avoiding looking at him while Patton examined the soft clothing with tears in his eyes.

“Thank you.”

_‘It’s got cat ears on it,’_ Patton thought as he pulled it over his head and noticing how soft it was against his skin _‘Why is he being so nice to me?’_

Patton was scared to ask that question. He was afraid that Remus would finally get fed up with him and just tell him to go. Even though he still felt like he was still undeserving right now, he was also relishing in the small comfort of being taken care of and he wanted to enjoy this small bit of contact a little longer.  
He also knew he had to say more to explain himself - and with Remus being busy, he figure now was a better time as ever.

“I’ve... I’ve been doing a lot of things wrong lately, as well as wronged everyone one way or another... you just as much.”

Remus slowed his hands in wrapping the bandage around one of Patton’s ankles, as he looked up at Patton with a blank expression.

“And... and even though I’m trying to do what I can to make things right now and give everyone the space they need - it doesn’t feel like enough. It feels like that it’s beyond my control to actually do something. I... I don’t want anyone to actually get mad and beat me up, but it feels like I need to be hurt in order to make something feel right...”

“So, hence why the imagination.”

“Yeah.” Patton could see the frown on Remus’s face and already regretted saying anything instead of keeping it to himself, “I know it was wrong of me to go in without letting anyone know-”

  
“It wasn’t wrong, it was dangerous If you got hurt and couldn’t get out, that would have been as good as ducking out!”

Patton snapped up, seeing that Remus was leaning in closer and had reached out for Patton’s own hands in a strangely comforting gesture - which had confused him because he was almost sure that Remus was angry with him right now. 

“And...” Remus breathed deep, speaking a little softer with a gentle squeeze on Patton’s hands “And as interesting as it would be to see Thomas without a heart and becoming a serial killer or something - I doubt that’s what you want for him, is it?”

“No of course not! I-” the realization hit Patton in that moment that once again his choices he nearly indirectly brought harm to Thomas, again.

“Oh god.”

Patton sobbed and pulled his hands away to cradle his head as the tears fell again - not only from what he had done but from what had happened in his fantasy in the imagination, as Remus held him close in his arms while Patton let loose everything he had been holding back for months. 

After a while, when he soon calmed down, Patton found himself to have wrapped his arms around Remus at some point in the middle of his crying. Remus had relocated himself onto the bed to be closer; Patton noticing the Duke stroking his hair while his other hand had a firm but secure grip on his hip that made Patton feel so safe.

“No one hates you Patton; and certainly not enough to want to see you hurt like that.”

“I know.”

“Do you?”

Patton didn’t really know for sure. He wasn’t really sure of much these days.

“I just, I just wanted to be hurt. I needed it... I don’t know if I can explain it more than that.”

Patton felt Remus wrap his arms around Patton with a tight squeeze that nearly started off another bout of crying from him.

“You don’t have to say anything more if you don’t want to.”

Patton nuzzled as close as he could against Remus’s chest, as he felt himself cling onto Remus and not wanting to let go of - knowing that it had been a very long time since he’s been in a warm embrace like this; only remembering that he had hugged Virgil last well before Remus was introduced to Thomas. 

“Just promise me something.”

Patton pulled back a little to finally face Remus.

“The next time you feel like this and don’t want to turn to the others - come to me.”

  
Patton looked away, returning to Remus’s chest to savor the closeness while he was still allowed.

“I won’t do it again.”

“Maybe... but if you ever do feel that way or think about hurting yourself, my offer will still stand.”

With a sigh Patton finally pulled away, his body feeling a lot better than before but still ready to fall asleep at any moment.

“I don’t think there’s anything you or anyone could do.”

“You wouldn’t have to be alone... Maybe- maybe we could come up with another solution...” 

Patton slowly sat up, feeling every kind of ache all over him as he turned to meet Remus’s eyes again.

“What would that be?”

Remus looked like he was about to tell him, before he shook his head as he stood.

“I’ll tell you after you get some rest first Patty-cake.”

Patton almost argued wanting to know, but a yawn escaped his mouth and he really felt the exhaustion start to settle in. He was about to ask if he could lay down in Remus’s bed when the Duke just swooped down and picked him up bridal style - causing Patton to yelp in surprise, as they both sunk out and soon reappeared into Patton’s own room.

The familiar atmosphere of his room swept over Patton in a way he didn’t realize he needed in that moment, making him more drowsy as Remus placed him down on the bed. Suddenly feeling some fuzzy pajamas bottoms appear on him and being covered by the quilted blanket on his bed, Patton felt himself fall deeply into sleep - just barely feeling the kiss on his forehead before Remus moved out of Patton’s reach as his dropped off into a dreamless sleep.


	2. This time I'll be there

A couple of weeks went by since Patton visited Remus’s side of the imagination.

Even though he avoided coming to Remus to acknowledge what had happened - let alone to hear his ‘alternative’ offer - In that time, Patton’s relationship with everyone had improved.

There was still much to be mended, but Logan, Virgil and Roman were talking to him again - sharing moments and knowing when to give everyone their space as well as trying to communicate better among themselves.

Sort of.

Patton knew he was guilty of with-holding what had happened with Remus as well as knowing that some part still wanted something that he couldn’t quite describe. He still felt that he needed some kind of punishment, despite no one holding any kind of animosity towards him as he spent more and more time with everyone while doing his best to not fall into the same past mistakes.

There was an itch under his skin that made him think of going back to that alleyway to get hurt again. However, he said that he would let someone know if he was feeling like this again. With Remus being the only one to know about this urge in Patton, the Moral side knew that he would rather keep it that way considering how things were at long last finally getting better - and the last thing he wanted was to ruin it.

Patton had thought about resisting the urge while trying to find alternative solutions - leading him to suddenly became more clumsy when he thought no one was looking. Little nicks with the kitchen knife on his hands when preparing meals, touching the too-hot kettle or cups of hot beverages, walking into walls and door ways - and of recent, ‘falling’ down the stairs. 

  
That last one was unintentionally witnessed by both Logan and Remus leading into the living room; instantly panicking, Logan came straight over to help him as Remus gave Patton a look he couldn’t describe - but made the Moral side feel guilty. A guilt that only deepened when he realized how worried Logan got over Patton while checking for injuries. It made the twisting feeling in his chest worse as he tried to laugh it off - standing up with a plastered on smile in an attempt to prove that he was alright.

“Are you sure you’re ok?” 

Logan looked so worried that Patton had almost faltered in his false cheer.

_‘Oh Logan, I’m not ok and I certainly don’t deserve your concerns.’_

“Yup! Just a little mis-step on the step-down the stairs.”

Logan huffed as if he was annoyed, but seemed relived as his eyes soften.

“Well, try to be more careful in future Pat - ok?”

Patton smiled with a nod as he slipped by into the kitchen to make himself a cup of hot chocolate, ignoring the slight ache on his left side and knees, as he hope neither of them would follow him into the kitchen.

He had just finished stirring his hot chocolate when he suddenly sense the feeling that someone was behind him in the doorway of the kitchen.

“Why didn’t you tell him?”

Patton’s breath halted at the sound of Remus’s voice, turning slightly to see him standing there with a frown as his intense eyes stared into Patton’s. 

“Tell him what?”

Remus didn’t respond as a moment of silence went by, before Patton turned to tidy up and put the spoon in the dishwasher, “There was nothing to tell.”

“I asked you to come to me or anyone else if you felt like that again.”

“I don’t know what you mean,” Patton held onto the mug in front of him - feeling the heat burn against his skin, to ground him from the panicking feeling racing through himself “I’m fine. I feel fine.”

“What’s that thing Logan says? Oh yeah- falsehood.”

A pair of hands suddenly gripped Patton’s upper arms from behind, almost causing him to let go of the mug as he stared ahead in response to the sudden tone in Remus’s voice. After a pause, Patton set the mug on the counter before Remus’s grip eased up as Patton felt himself be turned around so that they could face each other. Patton kept his eyes down and focused on the floor in a vain attempt to avoid facing Remus properly. The Duke's hands gently took Patton's own hands into his own, with his thumbs rubbing lightly on the lightly-sore skin.

“Hey...” 

He didn’t think that Remus sounded angry. Looking up, their eyes met as Patton started to feel a sense of worthlessness start to rise up within at the sight of Remus’s caring expression in his face. One of Remus's hands released Patton's; raised up to cup the side of his face that almost made Patton tear up from such a comforting gesture. 

“What do you need?”

Patton hadn’t expected that question. Instead of more reassurances, he was given options. He could say he needed to be held or just to go lie down in his room to sleep - or even continue to insist that he didn’t need anything at all. 

“Control.” It slips out as a whisper as he looks into Remus’s eyes, really seeing the tint of red mixed in with the brown of his iris’s, “To be controlled. To be hurt so it can feel like I’m doing something right, to... to...”

He trails off into silence as Remus takes his confession in.

_‘Did I ask too much? Did I ask it right? Should I have been more direct to ask what I wanted from him? What if he’s changed his mind-’_

Patton’s thoughts are cut as Remus embraces him, guiding his face into his neck as the Duke sink’s the pair of them out of the kitchen and right into a room that Patton senses is Remus’s. There’s a shift that Patton can’t see until he eventually eases away from Remus, his hand still on Patton’s shoulder as he looks around to see a dimly lit room with a large black sofa and a bed facing opposite. He finds himself being lead to sit down on the sofa with Remus right next to him, holding his hand with an unusual gentleness from a side Patton had only ever known to normally be so impulsive and eccentric. 

“You said that you wanted to be hurt before, right? To be controlled?”

Patton nodded, his focus completely on Remus and his words.

“...I told you that I could offer alternative options to the imagination if that would be ok with you. But if you still want to use the imagination, you can - but only on the condition that I’m there with you.”

“What would you do?” Patton felt his face heat up, unable to look away but had an idea what Remus was going to say.

“If you let me, I can give you whatever ‘punishment’ you are ok with or do whatever you need done. To make sure that it doesn’t go too far and to take care of you afterwards.”

Patton looked down, not sure about the ‘being taken care of’ part.

“If you choose the imagination, then I will keep watch and still make sure it doesn’t go too far - taking care of you and treating any injuries regardless.”

“Why?” Patton looked up puzzled “Taking care of me isn’t what-”

“Thomas still need you. Everyone in the mindscape needs you Patton. You getting hurt beyond recovery won’t help anyone - but if you really need the hurt, not matter what it is or how fucked up you want it to get, then I promise to be there to pick you up and make sure that you can come back - for however long you want to do this for.”

Patton was quiet, gently squeezing Remus’s hand as so many thoughts ran through his head.

“I...” He had felt so low and alone the first time he was first in Remus’s side of the imagination. He didn’t think there was anyone to turn to with these needs inside of him that he would never dare ask anyone to help him with. But here was Remus, offering just that and Patton...

_‘There’s a lot of things I don’t deserve... but...’_

“I want to try with you. To see how it can go from there.”

Patton felt Remus hook his arm around Patton, suddenly finding himself straddled on the Duke’s lap - feeling secure within his grip on his hips as Remus’s expression changed into a subtle smirk. 

“Under normal circumstances, this would be something planned ahead and organized... but I think we can leave that to another time.”

Patton gasped a little under his breath as he felt Remus grope his ass with a squeeze, not breaking eye contact with him as he feels a shiver tremble throughout himself.

“You know the traffic light system? Red for stop, yellow for pause and green for go?”

“Yeah. I’m okay with using that.” Patton didn’t think he would use them, but felt strangely comforted that Remus would be willing to give Patton a way to stop if he somehow wanted out.

“Good. So... how would you feel about being spanked?”

  
Patton didn’t think it was remotely what he needed, but he did decide to go along with it, knowing that he could ask for the imagination next time.

“Alright.”

\---

And so Patton moved around til he found himself over Remus’s lap - being completely stripped of his clothing and putting his glasses to the side, as Remus stroked his exposed backside. Patton wondered if Remus was just going to go easy on him when his thought’s were disrupted by the first smack.

It made Patton jolt, even though it wasn’t that hard it still came to him by surprise.

“You doing ok?”

“Yeah. Yeah I’m okie dokie.”

Remus snorted at Patton’s reassurance, following with a couple more spanks as Patton gripped the edge of the sofa cushion in front of him.

“I wonder, should I make you count these out? How high do you think you deserve.”

_‘There’s no number high enough.’_

“As many as you’re willing to give me.”

Remus went quiet, stroking the now slightly sore skin that was beginning to turn rosy under his hand before suddenly really coming down with a harder slap that made Patton yelp. 

“How about you count as high as you can for as many spanks as you can handle?”

Patton wordlessly nodded before Remus landed him with another hard slap.

“One... two... t-three...” Patton continued to count with every spank, from soft to hard, Remus made sure to make his spanks as varied as possible while observing Patton going from a steady voice to eventually hearing his voice crack a little once he passed almost 30 spanks.

“You’re doing well Patty-cake.”

“P-please don’t stop.”

Remus’s breath caught in his throat for a moment before continuing harder and harder as Patton got closer and closer to his breaking point - as he started to sob once he cried out ‘54' as Remus stopped to gather Patton in his arms.

“So good Patton. You did so good.”

Patton gripped onto the front of his shirt with a shudder as Remus rubbed his back while his ass heated with an ache that was bound to come up as a bruise tomorrow.  
“Can...” Patton gulped for a breath of air, “Can you do more?”

Remus’s kissed the top of Patton’s head, as his hand tailed down to lightly squeeze an ass cheek, causing the Moral side to gasp.

“I can, once you get your breath back we’ll do something a little different sweetheart.”

When Patton calmed down more, Remus saw Patton’s dick had gone hard and decided on ignoring it for the moment before setting Patton on the couch.   
Patton’s knees were on the seat cushions and his hands stretched out on either ends of the back rest, while making sure there was enough space between his hard on and the back rest so that Patton wouldn’t be tempted to hump into it just yet.

Looking over Patton, Remus couldn’t help but enjoy the sight of Patton’s redden backside being displayed right before him as the Moral side was faced away from him. It took a moment for Remus to conjure up his tool for the next part - a light black riding crop with a dark green leather at the top of the crop.

He carefully trailed the tip of the crop over Patton’s back, watching him stiffen up slightly before seeing himself eventually relaxing his back a little as he took his time stroking the crop around all areas of the back of Patton’s body.   
Without any warning, Remus landed the first strike - eliciting a surprised moan from Patton just before the second strike, as Remus continued a few more times before stepping back to appreciate the darker markings on Patton’s ass.

“Like a work of art.”

Patton had rested his head down on the top of the backrest before him; panting heavily as the stinging pain and pleasure shuddered through him in a way that just felt so freeing in that moment, feeling slightly fuzzy like his mind could just dissolve and be nothing right then and there.   
A hand gently caressing and squeezing his redden arse cheek brought Patton back to hear Remus’s voice speak so softly to him, “What color Pat?”

Patton had paused a moment before he remembered what Remus had meant by that.  
“Green.” 

Remus hummed, hands starting to roam and grope the tender flesh beneath his palms as Patton gasped in response, facing forward with his back arching in a mix sense of pleasure and pain. Remus grinned with and idea in mind.

“I think this needs one final piece to complete my little work of art here.”

Patton gave out a small cry at Remus’s nails lightly scraping over the freshly bruised skin before he felt Remus step away and no longer being able to touch him. Patton had kept still, focusing on his breathing while facing forward with his eyes closed to prepare himself for whatever the dark creativity had planned next.   
However, nothing happened. It felt like minutes were passing by before Patton’s eyes opened, briefly fearing that Remus had stopped and left him alone in the room without a word. But upon turning around to look over his shoulder behind him, Patton felt his breathing hitched with a sharp gasp.

Remus was still very much there and right behind him, with his cock in hand - pumping at a leisurely pace and looking down at Patton’s own rosey ass with a smirk that made the Moral’s side’s gut flip in giddiness.

“Just going to paint your ass with my seed Patty. Going to make it spill all over that juicy red butt of yours - and you’re going to let me do it, aren’t you.”

“Yes.” just fell from Patton’s lips as he felt himself tremble with a strange excitement as he watched Remus pump faster and so close to him - thinking how Remus could just take him right there; how his dick could fill him up and how he could fuck Patton any way he wanted to - but instead was just so painfully close and kept Patton on edge to wait for the cum to come. 

It didn’t take long before Remus’s ejaculated, his semen landing on the ass before him in streaks - as Patton seemed to sigh happily at the feeling of being marked, leaning his head down on his side as Remus reached out his hand to spread the cum round with his fingers.

“That was so good Patton. You stayed so still for me and let me mark you like a good boy...”

Patton shuddered, feeling mixed about being praised and how he liked the approval of Remus’s words.

As the Duke sat down beside him, Patton felt himself being pulled into his lap - feeling the material of the Duke’s clothing under so much of his exposed skin as fingers combed through his hair.

  
“You took the spank and my crop so well too. Would you like to come?”

Patton softly whispered ‘please’ over and over as he felt Remus take his cock into his grasp and only took a few pumps before Patton came, as his cum landed on his own stomach as he moaned loudly into Remus’s neck.

“So good Patton, so good.”

Patton wrapped his arms around Remus to hug him close, feeling so clear and good for the first time in a long time. 

Soon Remus would move onto giving Patton aftercare; to wash and feed him and continue to embrace him in bed for as long as it was needed.

Til then Remus continued to kiss and praise him in his arms; letting Patton know that he wasn't alone in this whatever they decided to do next.


End file.
